


Pet

by dormiensa



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Humor, Forced Partnership, Ministry of Magic, Plot Based on Book/Film, Post-Hogwarts, Romance, Spells & Enchantments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-15
Updated: 2014-12-15
Packaged: 2018-03-22 06:47:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3719071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dormiensa/pseuds/dormiensa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Someone has pulled a huge prank on the Ministry, resulting in an unexpected complication to Hermione’s life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pet

**Author's Note:**

> Remix of: (fairytale) The Frog Prince  
> Beta: withdrawnred

It was only ten o’clock in the morning, but the Ministry was in complete chaos.

Kingsley Shacklebolt looked about the Main Atrium in overwhelmed confusion and gave silent thanks to his wife’s paranoia. Even when he was a junior Auror, she’d insisted that he not touch any food or drink that wasn’t prepared by her own hands (or, in dire circumstances, his). He’d always obeyed her strictures, although he thought her rather daft at times with her unwarranted fears—he _was_ a fully-qualified Auror, after all—and had had to think the eccentricity a familial trait. She and Mad-Eye _were_ second cousins. But today, he owed her. And his apology would be that trip to the Amazon rainforest that he’d been promising for years—once the trade talks with the Tanzanian Ministry were completed, of course.

The Minister for Magic shook his head and sighed. It was the first of the month. Obedient to the rule he’d instigated ever since stepping into the role—the morning tea break was judged the ideal time—all Ministry employees had gathered in the Atrium to hear whatever announcements or concerns he would be addressing. On this day more than any other, Kingsley was grateful that the Atrium had a detection spell that would enlarge the space as needed to hold personnel over one hundred strong. There was much more jostling than usual. He supposed he should be grateful that no open hostilities had broken out.

Kingsley could not express his immense relief as he was joined by the normal-looking Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley, who had both finally managed to wade through the packed crowd. 

Harry spoke up. “Sir, we’ve located the source of the trouble: the hot water supply in the cafeteria. Someone thought it would be funny to add _Express Your Inner Animal_ to it. One of Fred and George’s new products. The effects only last an hour, thankfully. And it looks like we’re going to have to add it to the list of banned products in the security office. We’ll have a talk with the twins once they’ve opened their shop after noon.”

“I’m surprised that Weezies isn’t opened all day. One would assume that today, of all days, they would expect a booming business.”

“Well, Sir, they know they’ll be pranked if they show their faces before noon. They’ve played too many on others. And they just use the excuse that it’s their birthday to give themselves a half-day holiday.”

“Ah, so their birthday is April 1. That explains everything. And I’m assuming that they are the reason why neither of you are suffering from the affliction that has crippled the rest of the staff?” 

Ron chuckled. “Sir, if you’ve lived under the same roof as them, you learned to never touch any food or drink—or toy!—on their birthday that you weren’t completely sure had not been tampered with. And they usually got up super early on their birthday. I’ve made it a habit of having a stash of food stored in my room and just never stopped doing so even after they moved out. I got Harry and Hermione to do the same.”

“I’m very grateful for your vigilance. Mad-Eye would have been so proud.”

The three were silent for a moment as they recalled their fallen comrade. Kingsley then announced that he would return to his office, since there was nothing else to be done at present. He’d already invoked the command that sealed the building to prevent anyone from entering or exiting. He asked Harry and Ron to inform him of any further problems.

***

Hermione cursed under her breath as she stepped into the elevator. She was already five minutes late. She hoped Kingsley hadn’t already started speaking. Irritably, she tried to smooth her hair; it always loved getting even more unruly than normal when she was angry or flustered—it was as if her hair had never outgrown the accidental magic of childhood.

The elevator _DING!_ ed as she finally arrived in the Atrium. As the doors slid open, Hermione’s jaw followed suit. The Atrium was packed with animals of all types, colours, noises, and _smells_. She could vaguely make out the figures of Kingsley, Harry, and Ron at the far end. Reaching into the small pouch with the Undetectable Extension Charm that she always carried, she pulled out her legless piano bench and activated the spell that would allow her to glide over the heads of the animals in the direction of her friends. Hermione had never quite gotten over her fear of flying, but she had managed to temper the phobia to a reasonable level because of the convenience this vehicle gave her for moving about the Ministry’s hallways. It was especially useful when she was in a hurry.

“’Mione! Good, you’re all right!”

“What’s going on, Harry?”

“Someone pranked us using Weezies’ _Express Your Inner Animal._ ”

“Grebby Greebo! Any idea who the perpetrator is? And is everyone accounted for?”

“No, and we don’t know. Although, that’s a good point: we haven’t counted to see if everyone’s here.”

“Let me make a quick announcement to tell them all to remain here. Then, I’ll help the three of you search the floors. It is easier to count the missing ones. I’ve already triggered the lock-down, Hermione, so we don’t have to worry about people coming in or escaping. I didn’t notice anyone Floo’ing away while I was here waiting for everyone to gather. And we can always check the Floo logs later if the perpetrator did manage to leave before I arrived.”

They split the different levels between them and agreed to meet back in the Atrium, hopefully before the hour was up.

***

“I didn’t find anyone else on my floors.”

“Me neither.”

“I didn’t, either. Sir, I also took the liberty to check the Floo logs and the sickness and vacation logs. If you could tell everyone here to somehow raise their employee badges in the air for a few minutes, I can charm this scroll of parchment to record all the names so that we can start narrowing down possibilities regarding the perpetrator.”

Kingsley gratefully acquiesced. Then, seeing as there were only another five minutes left before the prank potion wore off, the four waited patiently, mentally preparing themselves to face a mob of angry employees.

Suddenly, a large snow leopard emerged from the crowd and bounded toward Hermione, knocking her off her feet. The leopard purred as it first licked her face and then nudged its nose against her neck. 

“Oi! Get off her!” Ron took a hasty step back when the big cat gave him a deep growl. 

Harry cautiously approached. He held up his hands in placation. “I just want to help Hermione to her feet and check the back of her head for any bumps, all right?”

The leopard’s anger dissipated, and it gave a pitiful moan and stepped aside. It watched anxiously as Harry tended to Hermione and finally helped her to her feet.

“Any idea who the cat is, ’Mione?”

“No—It’s all right, I’m not hurt,” she assured the leopard, who had nudged her and was looking up at her beseechingly. She scratched its ears in reassurance, and it purred, pressing its head against her side. 

“It looks like you have an admirer, Hermione.”

Before Hermione could respond to Kingsley’s teasing, the bell sounded, alerting them that eleven o’clock had arrived. By the eleventh chime, all the employees had reverted to their human form. All, that is, except the leopard, whose identity she’d finally figured out. 

While Kingsley, with Harry and Ron’s assistance, attempted to crowd control, Hermione spoke to the leopard, who, surprisingly, didn’t seem a bit distraught. “Malfoy, have you made a new enemy recently?” (She had, of course, found his employee badge.) “It looks like you’ve been pranked more than once today. And there’s no knowing how long this transfiguration spell will last.” 

Leopard-Malfoy merely purred. He seemed quite content to rest his head on her lap as she sat on the hovering piano bench, absently scratching behind his ears as she pondered the problem.

“Or perhaps it’s some sort of niceness potion? The Malfoy I usually bicker with would never act so affectionately. Unfortunately, that doesn’t narrow the identity of a possible prankster at all. Doubles it, in fact, since I can’t rule out one half of the population. And I suppose that you singled me out as the one to help you figure out how to become human again? Flattering as that is—I think—you do realize that you now owe me two life debts?” 

Leopard-Malfoy purred, unperturbed, again. Hermione felt slightly creeped out. His behaviour was so un-Malfoy-like. She rather wished to have the normal, snarky Malfoy instead, which was a surprising self-revelation, since she sometimes got so mad at his taunts that she wished her ethics didn’t prevent her from _Avada_ ’ing his sorry arse.

“Well, it looks like Kingsley and the boys have sorted everyone else out. You’d better stay with me. I’ll tell Kingsley what happened. And I’ll send a memo to my boss that I can’t do any overtime for the next week or so. I hope that’s enough time, although who knows how long the research will take.”

***

Exhausted, Hermione returned home—with Malfoy in tow. The Ministry library was much more extensive than at Hogwarts, so she had barely made a dent in her research. A sudden hiss made her groan. She’d forgotten about Crookshanks’ reaction to strangers invading their space. As she watched in trepidation while her pet approached transfigured-Malfoy, she was shocked to see that, after his initial sizing-up, Crookshanks meowed and led Malfoy toward the kitchen and his bowl of water. She felt another shock when, after following behind them, Crookshanks gave her an imperious look and motioned that she should set another bowl beside his so that he and Malfoy could both drink together.

The rest of her evening passed in a bit of a trance as she confirmed that Malfoy would willingly eat cut-up pieces of chicken from a plate on the floor but adamantly refuse to sleep anywhere except her bed—with her in it. And throughout the bizarre time, Crookshanks did not fuss once.

***

Hermione awoke for the third day in a row with the immense weight of a furry head resting atop her abdomen. As she’d quickly learned on the first day, a gentle stroke on the leopard’s nose caused him to stir. She pinched her nose. Leopard morning breath, she’d discovered, was _foul_.

“Good morning, Malfoy.” She giggled as he snuggled affectionately against her shoulder. He let out a purr then leapt off the bed and into the bathroom, shutting the door firmly. Hermione sighed. She began moving around her room, changing into a fresh outfit, making her bed, brushing her hair. She’d discovered that being transformed into a leopard did not diminish a Malfoy’s need for an elaborate grooming routine one bit—at least, she _assumed_ that he normally needed a lot of time to achieve such an impeccable appearance (the alternative was too painfully unjust to consider). 

She went into her sitting room to see if Crookshanks was ready for breakfast and spent the next few minutes bribing her pet with the promise of food to get her cuddles, after which she filled his bowl. She was in the midst of deciding if she had the sufficient mental acumen to tackle the _Prophet_ before her morning caffeine fix when she heard the unmistakable growl that announced that Malfoy had completed his _toilette_ and needed out of the bathroom.

Leopard-Malfoy gave her a regal nod of thanks before ambling away. Hermione knew that Crookshanks would keep a watchful eye on him and stepped into the bathroom to do a bit of cleaning up magically before going about her own morning routine. Malfoys were certainly used to life with a house-elf to pick up after them: there were hairballs _everywhere_. Hermione made another mental note to never own a large pet.

As she brushed her teeth, Hermione contemplated their plans for the day. After being apprised of the situation, Mrs. Malfoy had graciously agreed to play their charade; she had informed the Ministry that her son had had an adverse reaction to the prank potion and would need to remain at the manor to recover. Harry and Ron had been wrangled into keeping secret the identity of the leopard that followed Hermione everywhere, only satisfying general curiosity from Ministry staff by stating that the animal was an unfortunate visitor on the day of the mishap and that Hermione was assigned to protect it and find a means of reversing the potion’s effects. She sighed. Badgering and cornering Fred and George in their shop had not produced any helpful clues as to the possible cause of the prolonged transfiguration. The twins had hastily agreed to check through their sales logs to help shortlist possible perpetrators, but that took time. And Hermione had not yet exhausted the books in the Ministry’s library. But the thought of spending an entire Saturday cooped up among the dusty shelves was not appealing. It certainly didn’t help that transfigured-Malfoy got restless very quickly in the confined space. And a prowling leopard-Malfoy emitted a noxious smell that made concentrating almost impossible.

 _Wait! Luna!_ Hermione would’ve slapped her forehead if her hands weren’t covered in toothpaste foam. How could she forget her quirky, creature-loving friend? She quickly completed her routine and went in search of her furball responsibility.

***

“Hello, Hermione. Oh, hello, Draco Malfoy. Is bestial role-playing the newest courtship ritual? I’ve been away searching for the Simurgh. I hear the tulips in Amsterdam are especially pretty this year. Hermione doesn’t eat rats and mice, so you’d better let her buy her own food, Draco Malfoy.”

“We’re not dating, Luna. Malfoy was pranked a few days ago, and I haven’t figured out how to reverse it. I know that the animal transfiguration was caused by Fred and George’s _Express Your Inner Animal_ , and I was hoping you could help figure out the other.”

“First Love Beguiling Bubbles. Although, I think the _Animal_ potion interfered with it. Maybe it changed into a ‘fall in love with the first witch you set eyes upon’ or ‘express yourself to your true love’ kind of enchantment. I think Fred and George should keep them on separate shelves in their storage room.”

“Oh, good grief. A WonderWitch product? I’m going to kill them!”

“No need to do that. They’re unlikely to die of old age anyway. They like fireworks too much.”

“Well, I’m going to get a complete list of ingredients for both potions from them and see if I can figure out an antidote. Thank you, Luna!”

“ _‘Soul meets soul on lovers’ lips._ ’” Luna murmured to the sky.

***

Fred and George had looked very excited when Hermione informed them of Luna’s hypothesis. She warned them that if she couldn’t find a way to reverse the effects of the mixed potion, they were not to market it. If they disobeyed, she would make sure that the staff in the licensing office of Law-force made the paperwork so impossible that the two of them would have no hope of putting the product on their shelves. They meekly promised to not sell the product until she completed her research testing.

Of course, what they didn’t tell her was that they would also conduct their own experiments and not limit themselves to only testing the interactions between the two potions. 

To Hermione’s pleasant surprise, the mixed potion had not addled Malfoy’s brain so much that he forgot all that he knew about potions and the interactions between ingredients. He even managed to convey instructions for brewing the experimental antidotes. As was to be expected, their first few batches were complete failures. They agreed that they had probably used too few ingredients. After all, when combined, the two Weezies products had a total of ten ingredients, which on the surface did not seem like much, but when trying to discover the correct ones that caused the transfiguration, the right combination of antidotal ingredients, and the correct methods for making the desired concoction, the task became more complicated. Then, there was the problem of actually testing the potion. Malfoy absolutely refused to run the risk of an experimental antidote making things worse for him. So, they were forced to test the mixtures on rocks that had been transfigured into mice. 

Crookshanks had at first been extremely interested in the mice, but after he’d sniffed them and been told by Malfoy what they were, he’d disdained them—although he was not averse to chasing any that had managed to escape the cage. Hermione had looked on fondly—so long as the mice were not harmed in the end—and Malfoy was equally amused. 

By this time, people had grown quite accustomed to seeing Hermione with her “pet” leopard. In fact, they would enquire about it on the rare occasions when Hermione went out alone to do some shopping for personal needs. Even Hermione felt his absence on these excursions. 

She had also gotten into the habit of accompanying Malfoy to his home once a week so that Narcissa Malfoy could see them and keep abreast of their progress (or lack thereof). The manor’s library provided a few rare tomes not available at the Ministry, and Hermione enjoyed the two afternoons spent perusing them.

After two weeks of endless testing, they finally came up with the right antidote. Hermione squealed in delight when the mouse turned back into a rock and hugged leopard-Malfoy tightly about his neck. A wail-like squeak dampened her excitement as she realized that the transfigured mouse’s mate was distraught over the loss of her partner. Hermione hastily fed it the antidote. Soon, all that was left in the cage was a collection of scattered rocks.

“Malfoy, are you willing to try this or do you need to have it tested further?”

Leopard-Malfoy tugged her by her robes and pulled her into the kitchen toward his drinking bowl. 

“I’ll take that as a ‘yes’. Before I add it, though, I need to do a calculation to see how much I need to mix in.” 

Having completed the task, Hermione added the correct dosage and waited to see the effect the antidote would have. The effect was almost immediate. One moment, a leopard was crouched on her kitchen floor; the next, Malfoy was lying there, sprawled on his stomach. 

He blinked. Then, he gave her a pleased smile and stood up. There was a slight predatory gleam in his eye as he closed the distance between them. He went stock-still suddenly.

Hermione gasped as he transformed back to his leopard form. She huffed.

It was back to square one.

***

“So, while we’ve figured out the right antidote, we haven’t been able to make its effects permanent. We’re both out of ideas.”

Narcissa nodded in understanding and sympathy as she petted her furry son. “You have been working too hard on this, Hermione. Yes, yes, you were also of immense help, my Dragonet,” she assured the growling leopard. “At least we know that an antidote is available and successful, even though the outcome is but temporary. Have you tried a combination of potions and spells? Yes, of course you have. Why don’t you both take a short break from this? Giving your minds a rest may help clear them and perhaps give you new ideas you hadn’t considered. And perhaps some time apart would also do you both some good; you won’t be constant reminders to each other of the unfinished task. Draco, darling, I’ll have Anceline prepare your favourite dishes tonight and then you can tell Faran where you’d like to sleep.”

When Hermione arrived home, the flat seemed strangely dull and spacious. But she shook off the feeling and busied herself for the next half-hour clearing away the furballs that had accumulated.

***

“Hello, Ginny, Luna, Susan, Padma. Sorry I’m late. Mum and I got talking about things and I lost track of time.”

The girls greeted her and laughingly pressed her to sit in the empty seat. 

“It’s strange to see you without your pet Slytherin, ’Mione.”

“It feels strange to me as well, Gin. But Narcissa is right: we need time and space to clear our heads.”

“Crookshanks, at least, must be happy to have you all to himself again, Hermione.”

“Oddly enough, not really. Whenever I step through the fireplace, he always looks behind me, like he expects to see Malfoy as well.”

“Animals are so unpredictable sometimes. I remember you telling me that he never liked Ron.”

“True, but then again, they did disagree over Scabbers in Third.”

“Animals are much better judges of character than wizards. I think their noses are sensitive like Sneakoscopes. Perhaps that’s why Diricawls choose to vanish whenever they see young boys.”

“I can’t argue with that, Luna. Crookshanks did trust Sirius in Animagus form long before we realized who he was.”

“I agree, too. I had a pet Crup that Aunt Amelia gave me on my fifth birthday. It followed me everywhere and even chased off our Muggle neighbour’s gigantic Rottweiler when it got too close to me. He was barely three years old then and not even a quarter of the size of that mean dog.”

“Didn’t your neighbour notice his unusual tail, Susan?”

“No, because Aunt Amelia charmed it to look like a normal tail whenever he was out of the house. And we never had guests over who weren’t wizards.”

“So, Hermione, what have you been doing with all this newfound freedom?”

“Catching up with friends like you lot. Spending time with my parents. Doing some book-browsing. Making sure Fred and George haven’t expanded their WonderWitch line of products.”

The girls all giggled. 

“In other words, interacting with Wizarding society again.”

“Yes.”

“You haven’t been sleeping well ever since Draco Malfoy went home.”

Hermione found herself blushing at Luna’s words. 

“Is that true, ’Mione?”

“Well, we were sharing... the flat together for over a month. It’s just a habit that’s easily broken.”

“You have found happiness with Draco Malfoy. Denying it only causes you pain. And then Draco Malfoy will never turn back into a wizard. But perhaps that is better because you are more comfortable being around him when he is a leopard.”

A stunned silence followed. Hermione felt that her face and neck must be beet-red. She dared not meet the eyes that were definitely fixed on her.

Luna, as usual, was the only one not affected by the awkwardness she’d wrought. She began to quietly sing to herself. “ _‘A chaoimheag, a chaoimheag, an cuimhneach leat an gealladh beag a thug thu aig an tobar dhomh, a ghaoil, a ghaoil._ ’” And then, she got up from her seat and wandered out of the restaurant.

***

Over the next few days, Hermione did some research to discover the meaning of the lyrics—the song had embedded itself into her mind. She tried not to delve into the implications of Luna’s final words, the ones spoken just before she began singing.

An owl arrived unexpectedly from Narcissa begging her to visit the manor—Draco was ill. Alarmed, Hermione immediately Floo’d and arrived in the sitting room where they usually had tea. 

“Hermione, oh thank goodness! He’s in the library.”

Hermione gave an involuntary cry when she saw Malfoy. It looked as if he’d not eaten for several days. But upon her appearance, he’d raised his head and struggled to get up. Hermione rushed over and buried her face in his fur. The door closed quietly behind her.

“I missed you, Malfoy.” Hermione’s confession was met with a wet tongue against her cheek, which made her chuckle weakly. On a sudden impulse, she began singing the song that had been stuck in her head. Malfoy purred and nuzzled her neck but remained firmly transfigured. 

Hermione found her eyes brimming with tears. At this, Malfoy became restless and upset. He whimpered and rubbed his head against her cheek in an attempt to dry her tears, but to no avail. Finally, he turned his head to one side, away from her, and roared. A house-elf appeared and apparently understood the series of growls, for soon after it disappeared, Narcissa rushed into the room.

“Oh, Hermione! There’s no reason to cry, dear! He’s not had much of an appetite recently, but there’s nothing else wrong with him, physically. I had a Creatures Specialist come by to examine him. He misses your company, most likely, but I’m sure things will be better now that you’re here. He’s much more animated already. Now, dry those tears. I’ll tell the kitchen staff to prepare an extra portion for supper tonight. And Faran can go to your flat to make sure your pet is fed and to pick up some overnight things for you.” As she spoke, Narcissa had managed to get Hermione into a comfortable chair and had pressed a cup of tea into her hands.

Hermione finally calmed down enough to take a sip. “I’m so sorry, Narcissa. I don’t know what came over me all of a sudden.”

“Quite all right, my dear. You and Draco had been co-habiting for several weeks. You both likely miss each other’s company and the routine that you’d established. We are creatures of habit. Don’t think anymore on the matter. Finish your tea and then find a book to read. We’ll have supper, and then you’ll get a good night’s rest. Things will be better in the morning.”

That night, with Malfoy curled up at her side, Hermione slept through the night for the first time in days.

***

The following day, Hermione decided to share the details of the awkward luncheon with Narcissa in hopes that the older witch could identify the song. Narcissa could not but, after asking Hermione to repeat the song a few times, decided that the language was Scottish and went in search for a songbook of old ballads from the region. Not finding the song among her collection, Narcissa informed Hermione that she’d pay a visit to Mavis Bulstrode, who had the biggest and most diverse selection of songbooks.

A beaming Narcissa returned with not only the book containing the song in question but also an explanation of the lyrics. The song was related to a Scottish folktale called _The Queen Who Sought a Drink from a Certain Well_. Narcissa then produced a second book that contained the full tale. She gave Hermione a sly smile and left her to peruse the story alone. It was not a long tale, and when she finished, Hermione leaned her head against the back of her chair. A questioning growl made her stare down thoughtfully at the furry head on her lap. 

Finally, having made up her mind, she slowly got out of the chair and knelt in front of Malfoy. She clasped his feline head in her hands and brought her lips toward his. His purring got louder but his head did not get any less furry. Hermione pulled her head back, frustrated and disappointed. Then, she gave herself a mental slap. _The antidote!_ She asked Malfoy to stay put, saying that she needed to retrieve something from her flat and promising that she’d be back very soon. 

As she sought the antidote, she paused to explain things to Crookshanks. When asked if he’d mind sharing her with a human Malfoy, Crookshanks had meowed and flicked his tail, giving her an incredulous look as if the answer was obvious. Hermione chuckled. “I suppose it is obvious and has been ever since you allowed him to drink from your bowl.” She kissed him between the ears and then Floo’d back to the manor.

Malfoy’s eyes sparkled when he saw the bottle and understood. He growled orders for Faran to fetch a bowl of milk and quickly lapped it up after Hermione added the potion. 

As soon as he transformed into his old self, Malfoy rushed over to Hermione and snogged her senseless.

***

The prankster who had inflicted animality on almost the entire Ministry was never identified. Nor was the witch (or wizard) who had slipped Draco the love potion. Fred and George successfully came up with two new products for their WonderWitch line, which they called _Beastly Love_ and _Sod It, Kiss Me!_ , much to Hermione’s chagrin.

But other things were to occupy her in the years to come that left her with little time to worry about Weezies products. For example, her eldest son would not walk properly if he could hop, and the only way to calm him down for naps and at night was to sing him the song that Auntie Loony had taught his mum. And whenever he wanted to tease her, Draco would take on his snow leopard Animagus form and follow her around.

**Author's Note:**

> “Soul meets soul on lovers’ lips.” Percy Bysshe Shelley


End file.
